Faith in Darkness

“It’s been a hard year. It almost took me down, I swear.” 

When I hear this song from Toby Mac, I feel the lyrics deep in my soul. He likely wrote this about losing his son, but I believe so many people can resonate with the words. While I didn’t experience a traditional form of tragedy, this year was incredibly hard. It held some of the highest highs, such beautiful dream-come-true blessings, but it also had many days of struggle.  

The world tries to tell us that it can be one or the other—good or bad, success or failure. But honestly, we see people walk in both every day all over the world. We can be equally happy and sad at the same time, and both feelings are valid. I spent the last half of the year mostly overwhelmed, battling extreme exhaustion, and many days forcing myself to put one foot in front of the other, even though I had so many successes and blessings.

It’s funny, though. People don’t see what others are dealing with, especially when everyone wants to put their best foot forward. So, what’s the point of these seasons? The book of Ecclesiastes tells us, “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens. A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plan and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal…” 

And even with this promise, reaching the end of our difficult seasons can feel impossible. Because we rely on our human understanding, it can be hard to see the light and believe that purpose will come from the pain. But hindsight is 20-20. And when we look back over our lives, we can so clearly see God’s hand in it all. That there was and is good to be found in every tragedy, every struggle, and every roadblock. 

I’ve heard before that if God were to reveal His plan to us, most of us would say, “No thanks.” Because His plan seems too hard, we don’t want to be uncomfortable or stretched, and we’re ok where we are. But as such a good father, He won’t accept that answer. Instead, He shows us what we need to know when we need to know it and asks us to walk in faith and trust Him. 

We will be blessed beyond measure when we carry our cross and find the good in the suffering. We will look back and see His favor, protection, and goodness. But when we are in the thick of it, all we can do is draw near to Him and give Him all our struggles, worries, and pain.  

Toby Mac closed out this song, saying, 

“Cause when my world broke into pieces, you were there faithfully.
When I cried out to You, Jesus, you made a way for me.”

And beloved, He IS there. He is making a way for you and a way for me.